Anonymous asked: I'm seeing a guy in a band, who has coincidentally broken my heart before claiming he wasn't over his ex of 5 years. He told me from the beginning of the relationship that he couldn't commit to me, but fed me lines like" you inspire me", "I wrote a song about you tonight" and invited me over to drink wine, have deep conversation, and hookup intensely. It made me feel like i was something special, and I don't think I ever really got over him. Now he wants to try things again and claims things will be different this time, and that she's out of the picture. Can I trust him?

Sade: Can you trust him? Frankly, I don’t know. Never met the dude. But if you spend your time being weary of people, you’ll never experience anything in life. You could get mad hurt again. Or he could be one of your great loves. You say you’re not over him? Then just go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that it’ll be the same as last time, but in that case you’ll recover twice as fast because you’ve been through it once before. Look. If you’re going to do this you need  lay it out there: I’m not a hookup that you can just call when you miss your ex. I mean, I wish there was a magic 8 ball that I could just shake and be like “is this guy a lying asshole or is he for real?” and it would tell me the truth. But alas.