dearest sade, so i’ve been going out with this dude for about five years and we’re already talking marriage and i love the guy no doubt and most likely will forever i’m not in love with him, i know that. i’ve been in love with my best friend since the day we met but she’s…well a chick and i could never….i wouldn’t want to ruin the way things are and if something did happen between us i’d be scared shitless to get into something that real. so even though i’ll never let anything happen should i tell my boyfriend and best friend? or keep that shit unknown?

Anonymous asked: dearest sade,
so i've been going out with this dude for about five years
and we're already talking marriage
and i love the guy no doubt and most likely will forever
i'm not in love with him, i know that.
i've been in love with my best friend since the day we met
but she's...well a chick and i could never....i wouldn't want to ruin the way things are
and if something did happen between us i'd be scared shitless to get into something that real.
so even though i'll never let anything happen
should i tell my boyfriend and best friend?
or keep that shit unknown?

Sade: So. You’re not in love with the guy you’re thinking about marrying, but rather your best friend. Who you’ve been in love with since the day you met. Then you say “you could never”? Dude. I mean. Is your BFF even a lesbian? This whole situation is sticky as hell. Either way you can’t marry your boyfriend. You’re not in love with him. Even people who are in love with each other when they get married end up separating. So what are your chances if you don’t even love him now? Girl, you’re givin’ me the sads! :( I know you don’t want to ruin the way things are and I’m not going to tell you to break up with your boyfriend, but it’s not fair to him. None of this is fair to him. I don’t know these two people, if I knew your situation in real life I could probably offer more useful advice. But I mean all I can offer you is: don’t marry this guy, and don’t lead him on. You’re clearly doing nobody any favours by faking your life. Loving someone is a lot different than being in love with someone. Look, I love all my ex boyfriends because we shared experiences I can’t even explain to people. But I’m not in love with them, I’ve moved on to other people! Do you really want to die (dramatic, I know) knowing that you didn’t do what you really truly desired in your life? Regrets hurt more and last longer than the pain that comes with rejection.

What I’m driving at here is:

Don’t stay with someone you’re not in love with just because it’s comfortable.
Is your friend a lez??? If yes, go forth. If no, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Not Sade: Firstly, I agree with whatever Sade has said.

Secondly, I just wanted to ask you, are you 100% sure that you’re really really gay? I mean, I’m sure that you’re curious etc, but if you act out on your desires, and your best friend does not reciprocate, it’s you who will end up losing most of all. Your “boyfriend” AND your best friend.

That being said, if you ARE sure that she feels the same about you, go for it! Be happy!

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